Couples and marriage therapy online: Help for relationship partners when love, fun and ease become a challenge over the years.

Relationships are living processes. What seems easy and natural at the beginning can become a real challenge over the years. At some point, many couples experience the feeling that they are growing apart. Small misunderstandings accumulate, conflicts escalate more quickly or are hushed up. At such times, couples therapy or marriage therapy can be a valuable way to reconnect.

The break-up in relationships does not usually happen suddenly, but gradually. There are many reasons for this:

Changing life circumstances: Professional pressures, parenthood, moving house or health problems change the reality of life. What once united the couple takes a back seat to new tasks and roles.

Different personal development: People continue to develop. What was a good fit when they were young can grow apart over time due to different interests, values or goals.

Lack of time together: In stressful everyday life, there is little room for conscious couple time. Leisure time is often spent separately or functionally – closeness and intimacy fade.

Unresolved conflicts: Unspoken grievances or unresolved disputes erode trust in the long term and lead to emotional distance.

Lack of communication: Many couples only talk about organisational matters in everyday life. There are no in-depth conversations about feelings, needs or dreams.

These dynamics lead to partners becoming emotionally distant from each other. Feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction arise, often accompanied by resignation.

If there is a lack of emotional closeness, the following problems often arise:

Frequent arguments: The smallest frictions escalate quickly.

Sexual dissatisfaction: Physical intimacy decreases or is perceived as a duty.

Loneliness despite the relationship: Both feel misunderstood or isolated.

Affairs: Sometimes partners seek recognition and affirmation outside the relationship.

Doubts about the future: Questions such as ‘Is this still a good fit?’ or ‘Do we even want the same thing?’ arise.

At the beginning of a relationship, the characteristics of a partner often seem particularly attractive: their spontaneity is exciting, their calm nature reassuring. But over time, this very difference can become a burden. What was once seen as charming is now perceived as annoying or disruptive. The spontaneity is interpreted as unreliability, the quiet manner as apathy.

This change in perception occurs because needs change in long-term relationships. What initially provided balance can later give the feeling of not being sufficiently supported or understood. This is often compounded by everyday stress and unspoken expectations that negatively distort the view of the partner.

Here it helps to consciously remember why you originally fell in love – and to see the differences as a complement rather than a threat.

These problems and perceptions are stressful – but they don’t necessarily have to mean the end of the relationship. Couples therapy or marriage therapy can help to turn this crisis into an opportunity.

Communication is the base for emotional closeness. If you don’t talk to each other (properly), you will eventually lose the ability to understand each other.

Active listening: Wanting to understand, not judge immediately.

Open ‘I’ messages: Express your own feelings instead of reproaching (‘I feel sad’ instead of ‘You never care’).

Show empathy: Take your partner’s feelings seriously.

Regular conversations: Don’t just talk when conflicts arise, but give regular emotional updates.

Accusing instead of addressing: ‘You always do…’

Generalisations: ‘You never listen to me!’

Blocking: ‘Not now, I don’t have time.’

Becoming quiet: Nothing is said for fear of conflict.

A relationship can only last in the long term if the partners are able to communicate their needs and fears and listen to each other.

Here are some practical exercises that can help improve communication in relationships:

Regularity: Once a week.

Time: 60 minutes.

Procedure: Each partner has 15 minutes to speak, the other only listens without interrupting or commenting.

Topics: Feelings, thoughts, wishes.

Benefit: Both partners feel heard and develop an understanding for each other.

Everyone writes down five specific wishes (‘I wish that you would surprise me once a week.’).

The wishes are then discussed quietly.

Benefit: Expectations are formulated clearly, without reproach.

Each partner gives the other an honest compliment every day, verbally or in writing.

Benefit: The focus shifts to the positive in the relationship.

Partners ask each other questions such as: ‘What is your biggest dream?’ or ‘What are you afraid of right now?’

The aim is to get to know each other’s inner world better.

Benefit: Stronger emotional connection.

Couples & marriage therapy online: in an increasingly digital world, online couples therapy offers many advantages over traditional formats.

Some couples find it uncomfortable to visit a counselling practice. Online therapy can help to overcome initial fears.

Sessions can take place from the comfort of your own home. Appointments are easier to integrate into everyday life.

Regardless of where they live, couples can access a wide range of specialised therapists.

Younger couples in particular use video conferencing, chat or email therapy as a natural means of communication.

The online setting enables appointments at short notice when acute conflicts arise.

A relationship always goes through ups and downs. The important thing is not to avoid crises, but to use them constructively. Couples therapy and marriage therapy help to recognise old communication patterns, redevelop emotional closeness and find new paths together.

Whether traditional on-site or online couples therapy – professional support can be the key to emerging stronger from a crisis.

Every partnership deserves a second chance – as long as both partners are willing to actively work on it.

Couples and marriage therapy online: would you like to take a new path together as a couple? Are you ready to look at yourselves and your relationship in order to develop new perspectives and a deeper understanding of each other? Let’s talk about it in a free initial session!

• Bodenmann, G. (2000). Stress und Partnerschaft. Hogrefe Verlag.
• Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). Die 7 Geheimnisse der glücklichen Ehe. Mosaik Verlag.
• Schulz von Thun, F. (2000). Miteinander reden: Kommunikationspsychologie für Führungskräfte. Rowohlt Verlag.
• Backhaus, A., et al. (2012). Videoconferencing psychotherapy: A systematic review. Psychological Services.