Whether we live according to the principle of approach or avoidance makes a big difference in how we feel about us and our lives.

As tourists on holiday, we visit faraway places to escape our everyday lives for a short time. The basic idea behind this is often ‘I just want to get away from home for a while’ – thus it’s an ‘away from’.
As travellers, we see ourselves as people who visit faraway places in order to discover them; with the basic idea of ‘I want to experience this place’ – thus it’s a ‘towards’.
This distinction can be extremely important in many areas of life. Do you do certain things to avoid something unpleasant or because you are moving towards a desired goal?
You can ask yourself this question regularly in everyday life to examine your motives – in other words, to reflect on why you behave the way you do.
If we like, we can live our lives according to the principle of avoidance. People who live according to this principle choose their behaviour in such a way that they don’t have to fear any negative consequences or punishments. Behaviour that carries the risk of such a negative consequence is avoided at all costs. This gives a sense of control and security and reinforces the illusion that nothing bad can happen to us as long as we ‘stick to the rules’.
However, we can also live our lives according to the principle of approach. People who opt for this principle have clear goals in mind and choose their behaviour in such a way that they’ll approach these goals step by step – in other words, they actively look for positive consequences and rewards. This goal-orientated way of life makes people feel motivated and optimistic, so that setbacks on the way to their goals can be adequately dealt with and the desired goals can be further pursued.
Are you living your life ‘away from’ or ‘towards’? Are you following the principle of approach or avoidance?
Don’t live life as a tourist – live it as a traveller.
Let’s talk about it in your free initial session!
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